BASICS OF PHYSICAL CONTACT
After you have been chatting for a while, you might start to believe that she will be receptive to your amorous advances. This is the time to think about your first move.
Your move has to be a subtle one, to make it easy to cover up in case it backfires, yet it has to enable her to reciprocate her feelings in a similar manner if she’s gagging for it. This is where a great deal of skill is needed in reading those all-important body signals.
Unfortunately, many people interpret these signals differently. If you brush your hand against hers while you both stand at the bar waiting for hours to be served because there are loads of people in tonight and the pub is either short-staffed or just badly managed, she might misinterpret your actions as an attempt to pickpocket her and will knee you in the balls in a most embarrassing way.
Or perhaps her handbag rubs against your bottom by accident, but you interpret this as a come-on and start sticking your dribbling tongue in her ear, short-circuiting her tiny hearing aid and frying her brain, much to her annoyance. Be sure you have interpreted the signs correctly before going for it.
Timing is important. It’s no use responding to her physical contact days later when she’s already dating someone else. Similarly, don’t pre-empt a possible move on her part with a risky one on your part (or even with your part). Respond quickly and smoothly if she makes physical contact by reciprocating to the same degree. Thus, if she holds your hand, hold hers. If she kisses you, kiss her. If she slaps you, duck.
It’s not uncommon to leave a date thinking, why on earth did nothing happen? It was either because making that move seemed impossible or because she didn’t fancy you. Usually the latter.
The trouble is that once the date is over, it’s too late, so you have to be brave with making that first physical contact as soon as you get a chance. Making this move is tantamount to putting yourself up for sale and asking her if she will buy you. If she doesn’t, you may be asking too much. Let her haggle, and see what she offers. Maybe she’ll offer you a part exchange for her ex-boyfriend? Maybe she was looking for something with better fixtures and fittings, or perhaps a garden with a conservatory?
Rejection under this circumstance is nothing to be ashamed of. Well, it’s no more shameful than any of the other forms of rejection men have to go through in their daily contact with their opposites.
What body signs should you give out yourself? You can kiss her without warning and accept the consequences, or you can test the waters with some gentle physical contact, for instance by touching something near her.
Hold her hand if you are walking together (take her hand to help her over rough ground or steps, then don’t let go unless she trips and would otherwise, bring you down with her), or rub her arm with your hand or with a roll of money.