Bits of Laughter

 

This old Jewish lady was on a bus talking
to the passenger beside her and said, “I have good
news and bad news.”
The passenger said, “Tell me the bad news.”
The woman said, “My son is Sunny.”
The passenger said, “Well what’s the good
news.”
And she replied, “He married a doctor!”

A husband is on his way to the office when
he realizes he forgot his briefcase. He goes home,
goes up to his bedroom, and sees his wife naked
with her back to him, taking some money out of
his briefcase. He sneaks up behind her, pats her
on his arms, and says, “How much today dolly?”
The wife doesn’t even turn around and
says, “Four quarts of milk and a dozen eggs.”

A girl is getting married and her father is
very upset. She has a long-standing heart
problem, and he wants to be sure she’s warned
her husband to be that it exists. So the day of
the Wedding, he takes the guy aside and says,
“Listen I don’t know if she’s told you this, but I
think you ought to know. My daughter has acute
angina.” The guy grins at him and says, “Boy,
that’s good because she sure doesn’t have no tits!”
A five-year-old little girl runs into the house
and says, “Mammy, Mammy, Can I get
pregnant.”
The mother replies, “Of course you can’t
dear!” The little girl says, “Mommy, Mommy,
are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure,” the mother says, The
a little girl runs out to the backyard and says, “Okay
Bellas same game.
What’s six inches long and two inches wide, has
a head on it and woman love it?
Money.

An eighty-seven-year-old man goes to the
doctor and says, “Doctor, Doctor, I can’t pee!”
The doctor says, “How old are you?” He says,
“Eighty-seven-year-old.” The doctor says,
“You’ve peed enough!”

This Sunny goes to the doctor, The doctor says,
“Have you ever had this before?”
“Yes,” says Sunny.
“Well”, says the doctor, “You’ve got it
again!”

  guy dies with a hard-on, so the
undertaker calls his wife and says, he can’t close
the casket, what should he do?
The woman says, “Cut his dick off and
shave it up his ass. e was very much into anal
sex with me!”
So the undertaker prepares the corpse as ins
trusted and arranges for the viewing. The people
at the funeral approach the corpse and notice a
slight grain on its face. As a matter of fact, some
of them even comment on this sadistic smile.
The wife finally approaches the corpse of her
husband notices his grain looks at him, and says,
“Hurts, doesn’t it!”

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