There was an old man from gosham,
who got out his bollocks to wash’em,
His wife said, ‘‘ oh jack if you don’t put’em back,
I’ll stand on the bastards and squash’em!!!’’
Your father had your mother,
your mother had your brother,
it’s just 2 bad your fathers mad and
your mothers now your lover.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful,
but what the hell happend to you?
Q : What’s d difference between working class
woman and a rich woman?
A : The working class woman has real orgasms and
fake pearls.
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life:
Jaguar in her garage,
Mink in her closet,
Tiger in her bed!
And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
A guy call into work and says, “Boss! I can´t come to
work today, I´m sick.”
Boss asks, “How sick are you?”
Guy says, “I´m fucking my sister how sick is that?”
Sex is like Nokia -connecting people
like Nike -just do it
like Pepsi -ask for more
like Samsung -everyone is invited and
like Me -TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
There are 206 bones in your body!
Would u like another?
Life is like a dick! When it’s hard Fuck it!
Why did johny think that his father had two dicks?
Because he saw him use a small one to pee, and a huge
one to brush the babysitter’s teeth!
Sex is good, sex is fine,
doggy style or 69,
just for fun or getting paid,
everyone likes getting laid!
5 reasons not 2 b a penis :
1. ur bald ur entire life.
2. both ur naybors r nutz.
3. an arsehole lives behind u.
4. ur bestm8s a cunt.
5. wen xcited u throw up den faint!
The Alpahbet :
a-u r attractive
b-u r beautiful
c-u r caring
d-u r delicous
e-u r exciting
f-u r funny
g-u r gorgeous
h-u r heavenly
I-i m
J-just
K-kidding
L-loser!
Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia… One
wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!
When an apple is green it’s ready to pluck,
When a girl is sixteen she’s ready to fuck!
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls
information, to increase the population, for a
younger generation, do you get the information…or
do you need a demonstration.
I’m a cool girl, in a cool town,
It takes a real fucker to put me down.
Roses are red, Pickles are green,
I love your legs & whats in between!
A priest is teaching a nun how to swim. She says,
‘‘Father! will I ready sink if you take your finger out?’’
Bak 2 bak, front 2 front, on d table, lick d cunt,
stick it in, do ur ting, do it hard & make her sing,
tense ur body feel d cum, den let it rip into her bum!
Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop,
you can’t stop!!
Q: Wat do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A: Wallnuts.
Q: Wat do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?
A: Chestnuts.
Q: Wat do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?
A: A mouth full of cock!
Wats the difference between ur job & ur girl friend?
UR job always sucks!!!!!
U NO U R GETTING OLD IF :
1. Ur age woz ur shoe size they’d b a mile long.
2. Doing it 5 times a nite means getting up to piss.
3. The only way u get a 69 is playing bingo.
A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway.
Sardar : Why’re the guys running, what they’re doing?
Bystander: A Marathon race is going on.
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize.
Sardar : Then why are the others running?
Sex+drugs+rock+rave
Sex+drugs+rock+rave,
Lets get drunk & misbehave,
On weed+speed +little e’s,
Well get drunk & talk 2 trees,
U only live once & den u die,
So fuck ’em all & lets get high!
Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS :
1. They r always out of order
2. They stink
3. The nice ones r always engaged
4. They consume large amounts of liquid
5. R constantly full of shit!
