“Cheerful Chuckles: Enjoyable Humor for Everyone”
An Oriental gentleman who had just returned
from a visit to the United States was
telling about his trip:
“You have all heard about the marvellous
machines they have which do every conceivable
job on farms, in factories, and even in the home.
But imagine my surprise when inquiring
about the local political situation
in a certain community. I was told that,
too, was controlled by a machine”.
(An amusing illustration for your talk
on the Machine Age. Useful, too, for the speaker,
who may wish to make some reference to the
local political situation.)
Our aviation expert reports that Delta Air
Lines was involved in another mishap in a year.
Two of its flight simulators nearly collided.
My sister’s going to enter the Miss
Professional Golfing Association Beauty Contest.
“What’s her handicap?”
After his legs had been broken in an accident,
Mr Miller sued for damages claiming that
he was crippled and would have to spend the
rest of his life in a wheelchair. Although the
insurance company doctor testified that his bones
had healed properly and that he was competent
to walk—the judge decided for the plaintiff
and awarded him $500,000.
When he was wheeled into the insurance company
office to collect his cheese, Miller was confronted
by several executives, “You’re not getting away with
this, Miller,” one said. “We’re going to watch you
day and night. If you take a single step, you’ll not
only repay the damages but stand trial for perjury.
Here’s the money; what do you intend to do with it?”
“My wife and I are going to travel,” Miller replied.
“We’ll go to Stockholm, Berlin, Rome, Athens and,
finally, to a place called Lourdes where gentlemen,
you’ll see yourselves one hell of a miracle.”
“Oh my dear sweet bride,” the passionate guy
told his lady just outside the justice of
the peace office, “thought you
and I will be in Heaven.”
“As knock off the bragging,” said the lady.