“Clever SMS Jokes to Impress Your Friends”
A very nice-looking young lady walked into a
sporting goods store and ordered all the
equipment necessary for a baseball game
including a baseball, a bat, and a catcher’s mitt. and
a catcher’s mask.
Are you sure you want all these? asked the
salesman.
The girl answered, Yes, I do. My boss said if
I’d play Hill with him. We’d get along fine.
The village doctor was asked to give a lecture
on sexual satisfaction at his local branch of the
Country Women’s Association. He decided he’d
better tell his rather prudish wife that the subject
of his talk would be aeronautics. The following
day, one of the CWA members stopped the
doctor’s wife in the local store and
congratulated her on her husband’s wonderful
lecture.
We’re all going to be much happier women,
she gushed, and you’re so lucky to have such an
expert for a husband.
Funny, you should call him an expert; he came
the puzzled reply.
You see, he’s only been up twice. The first
the time he was terribly sick, and the second time
his glasses fell off.
THE psychologist said my husband’s complex
of sexual inadequacy because of his short
stature might very well be alleviated, the Woman
told an office colleague in confidence; if he took
to wearing those special shoes with the built-up
heels.
And have things improved then? inquired her
friend.
“Yes, definitely….but. still….”
But still what?
They make the sheets so dirty.
I love her so much, said the guy in the bar,
She’s kind, gentle, pretty…everything I want in a
woman…and last night, I finally got her to say
yes.
That’s great, pal, said the bartender; by the
way, when will the wedding be?
What’re you talking about? exclaimed the guy,
what wedding.
CUSTOMER: I want a close shave,
Barber, You just had one,
Customer, How’s that?
Barber: That big guy who walked in just as
you took your hand off the manicurist’s knee is
her husband.
I never give girls a second thought,
Is that so?
I don’t have to. The first one covers anything.
THE blonde said she wanted to be an airline
hostess. You meet a lot of men that way, she
said to her friend.
Yes, answered the friend, but would not you
Meet as many men doing something else?
Could be, said the blonde, but not strapped
down.
A Young married couple left the sex
therapist’s office determined to develop more
effective body language.
Okay, the husband said, When I want sex, I’ll
rub your right breast; when I don’t want sex, I’ll
rub your left breast.
Find, his wife replied, but what about me?
When you want sex, rub my penis once, when
If you don’t want sex, rub my pennies 500 times.