“Crack Up Your Day: Hilarious Jokes to Brighten Your Mood”
Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a
lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his
jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can’t. I ran out of film.
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna, main use surprise
dunga!
Jeeto: I didn’t know you smoked. When did you
start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early
and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical
college.
Banta: What’s he studying?
Santa: He’s not studying, they are studying him!
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He
once entered a lion’s cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause wen he got
out.
Santa: I didn’t say he got out.
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his
fridge?
They’re there for those who don’t drink.
Q: What two words will clear out a men’s changing
room quicker than anything else?
A: Nice dick!
She was only a rancher’s daughter and she couldn’t
keep her calves together.
She was only a jockey’s daughter and she often got
bedridden bareback.
She was only the coach’s daughter, and she always
made the team.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a
best seller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Santa was crying outside a Medical lab.
Banta : Why are you crying?
Santa : Blood test karane aaya tha, anguli kaat di.
Banta : Baapre… mujhe to urine test karana hai!!!
Santa tried to light his match stick. He struck the
first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn’t
light. He tried another. It wouldn’t light.
The third one finally lit. Santa carefully blew the
match out and put it in his vest pocket.
“What for did you put that match in your vest
pocket?”
“That’s a good match. I’ll use it again.”
The law of Win/Win says, ‘‘Let’s not do it you way or
my way; let’s do it the best way.’’
I spoke to him about you!!! And HE felt so little…
In Yaadon aur Lamhon ko Apne sine ki
kitaab mein Sambhal kar rakhna.
Agar zindagi ke kise mor par humari yaad aajaye to
is kitaab ko kholkar padh lena Sukoon Milega.
For all the time you have helped, and all the things
you sacrificed, for all the tears you dried, and all the
truths you hide, without even a ‘thanks’ for me to
grow well, now on this day of Rakhee, all I want to
tell thank you and I love u.
Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with
photo of Pamela Anderson?
Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it
for pasting them on the envelopes.
Jo sagar ne kaha lahron se,
Jo pedon ne kaha patton se.
Jo phulon ne kaha kaliyon se,
Wohi main tumse kahta hun,
Aey Chal Chal Hawa Aane De!!
