“Enhancing Communication with Modern SMS”
- T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has
gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform
u that no one would go down on u. Not even a
network.
- Why do women have orgasms during sex???
It gives them something to moan about even when
they are fuc***g enjoying themselves.
- Do you like maths? If so, add a bed, subtract ur
clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
- Why do men pass gas more than women? Because
women won’t shut up long enough to build up
pressure.
- The problem with most parents today is that they give
their kids a free hand…but not in the right place.
- 1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, d elephant
looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask d
naked man, ‘‘HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT
LITTLE THING?’’
- A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts. Who opens
her heart recives love. Who opens her legs recieves
happiness.
- If u were a drum I’d bang u. If u were a pig I’d pork u.
If u were a flower I’d root u. If u were a nail I’d screw
u. But cos u r a sweetie I’ll make love 2 u!
- I want triplets. You want twins. Lets get in bed and see
who wins!
- Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d
poor dog a bone. But when she bent over Rover took
over & gave her a bone of his own!
- A teacher ask, ‘‘Wat part of the body goes to heaven
first?”
A child replies, ‘‘Feet, coz every nite I c my mum with
her feet in the air, screaming GOD I’M COMING!
- I want to suck you… I want to lick you… I wanna move
my tongue all over you… I want to feel you in my
mouth… that’s how u… eat an ice cream…
- GUY: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
GAL: If I see you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
- There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex,
Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your
face …NO SEX !
- Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man
puts his location in a woman’s destination. Do u get
my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
- Q: Who is stronger, Man Or Woman?
A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest
while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
- A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
- SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Good!
U’ll enjoy it! I’ll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat,
X-exercise. So do it every day; good for u.
- Son on his honeymoon, phoned his mum asking
what 2 do. MUM: Put ur biggest thing on her hairiest
thing. SON: Got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
- Lady: Doc I have an infection down there.
Doc: How often do you have sex?
Lady: Once in six months.
Doc: God, that’s not an infection; that’s RUST…
- American students say : People who never experience
good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read
their SMS messages with their right hand.
- Sardar: Will u marry me?
Girl : Sorry, I’m a lesbian.
Sardar : What’s a lesbian?
Girl : I lyk 2 have sex with girls only.
Sardar : Wow, I’m also lesbian.
- I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as
handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as
Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
- Jack & Jill went up d hill 2 have a little fun. But stupid
Jill forgot d pill and now they have a son.