T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has
gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform
u that no one would go down on u. Not even a
network.
Why do women have orgasms during sex???
It gives them something to moan about even when
they are fuc***g enjoying themselves.
Do you like maths? If so, add a bed, subtract ur
clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because
women won’t shut up long enough to build up
pressure.
The problem with most parents today is that they give
their kids a free hand…but not in the right place.
1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, d elephant
looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask d
naked man, ‘‘HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT
LITTLE THING?’’
A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts. Who opens
her heart recives love. Who opens her legs recieves
happiness.
If u were a drum I’d bang u. If u were a pig I’d pork u.
If u were a flower I’d root u. If u were a nail I’d screw
u. But cos u r a sweetie I’ll make love 2 u!
I want triplets. You want twins. Lets get in bed and see
who wins!
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d
poor dog a bone. But when she bent over Rover took
over & gave her a bone of his own!
A teacher ask, ‘‘Wat part of the body goes to heaven
first?”
A child replies, ‘‘Feet, coz every nite I c my mum with
her feet in the air, screaming GOD I’M COMING!
I want to suck you… I want to lick you… I wanna move
my tongue all over you… I want to feel you in my
mouth… that’s how u… eat an ice cream…
GUY: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
GAL: If I see you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex,
Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your
face …NO SEX !
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man
puts his location in a woman’s destination. Do u get
my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
Q: Who is stronger, Man Or Woman?
A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest
while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Good!
U’ll enjoy it! I’ll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat,
X-exercise. So do it every day; good for u.
Son on his honeymoon, phoned his mum asking
what 2 do. MUM: Put ur biggest thing on her hairiest
thing. SON: Got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
Lady: Doc I have an infection down there.
Doc: How often do you have sex?
Lady: Once in six months.
Doc: God, that’s not an infection; that’s RUST…
American students say : People who never experience
good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read
their SMS messages with their right hand.
Sardar: Will u marry me?
Girl : Sorry, I’m a lesbian.
Sardar : What’s a lesbian?
Girl : I lyk 2 have sex with girls only.
Sardar : Wow, I’m also lesbian.
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as
handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as
Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
Jack & Jill went up d hill 2 have a little fun. But stupid
Jill forgot d pill and now they have a son.
