“Enhancing Communication with Modern SMS”

 

  • T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has
    gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform
    u that no one would go down on u. Not even a
    network.

 

  • Why do women have orgasms during sex???
    It gives them something to moan about even when
    they are fuc***g enjoying themselves.

 

  • Do you like maths? If so, add a bed, subtract ur
    clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

 

  • Why do men pass gas more than women? Because
    women won’t shut up long enough to build up
    pressure.

 

  • The problem with most parents today is that they give
    their kids a free hand…but not in the right place.

 

  • 1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, d elephant
    looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask d
    naked man, ‘‘HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT
    LITTLE THING?’’

 

  • A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts. Who opens
    her heart recives love. Who opens her legs recieves
    happiness.

 

  • If u were a drum I’d bang u. If u were a pig I’d pork u.
    If u were a flower I’d root u. If u were a nail I’d screw
    u. But cos u r a sweetie I’ll make love 2 u!

"Enhancing Communication with Modern SMS"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • I want triplets. You want twins. Lets get in bed and see
    who wins!

 

  • Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d
    poor dog a bone. But when she bent over Rover took
    over & gave her a bone of his own!

 

  • A teacher ask, ‘‘Wat part of the body goes to heaven
    first?”
    A child replies, ‘‘Feet, coz every nite I c my mum with
    her feet in the air, screaming GOD I’M COMING!

 

  • I want to suck you… I want to lick you… I wanna move
    my tongue all over you… I want to feel you in my
    mouth… that’s how u… eat an ice cream…

 

  • GUY: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
    GAL: If I see you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

 

  • There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex,
    Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your
    face …NO SEX !

 

  • Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man
    puts his location in a woman’s destination. Do u get
    my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!

 

  • Q: Who is stronger, Man Or Woman?
    A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest
    while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.

 

  • A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?
    His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

 

  • SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Good!
    U’ll enjoy it! I’ll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat,
    X-exercise. So do it every day; good for u.

 

  • Son on his honeymoon, phoned his mum asking
    what 2 do. MUM: Put ur biggest thing on her hairiest
    thing. SON: Got my nose in her armpit. Now what?

 

  • Lady: Doc I have an infection down there.
    Doc: How often do you have sex?
    Lady: Once in six months.
    Doc: God, that’s not an infection; that’s RUST…

 

  • American students say : People who never experience
    good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read
    their SMS messages with their right hand.

 

  • Sardar: Will u marry me?
    Girl : Sorry, I’m a lesbian.
    Sardar : What’s a lesbian?
    Girl : I lyk 2 have sex with girls only.
    Sardar : Wow, I’m also lesbian.

 

  • I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as
    handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as
    Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!

 

  • Jack & Jill went up d hill 2 have a little fun. But stupid
    Jill forgot d pill and now they have a son.