“Funny Tales: Engaging Stories with a Twist of Humor”
Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.
The young politician stood flushed with
pride and happiness as his friends gathered
about to congratulate him upon his
nomination to the state legislature.
“Were you surprised when they nominated you?”
A friend inquired.
“Was I!” exclaimed the not-so-dumb vote seeker.
“I was so surprised that my acceptance speech
nearly fell out of my hand.”
(The newly elected or signally honoured individual
who cannot trust his memory for a few
extemporaneous remarks may tell this story as
a preface to bringing out his own sheaf of notes.
Or, if you really are speaking without a manuscript,
you may say, I really have no prepared speech
for this occasion. I’m not like the politician who…)
One well lady of our acquaintance has
a huge closet filled with fur coats and designer.
“And to think I just started with one
little slip,” she says, batting his
false eyelashes modestly.
One day Mark Twain, while discussing the
peculiar ways of politics with a young candidate,
related the strange story of Jim Atreus
of Missouri who aspired to serve in the state legislature.
“Jim was anxious to make a good impression
and thought he could do this by using every
the big word in the dictionary. As a result, his
speeches were almost impossible to follow,
and the campaign made little progress.
One evening, Jim was milking a cow and
practising one of his speeches at the same time,
when the cow, evidently fed up with his harangue,
kicked him in the jaw, causing him to bite off
the end of his tongue.”
“Well,” commented the young candidate. “I suppose
that put an end to his career as a politician.”
“Oh, no,” replied Twain. “After that, he could use
only words of one syllable. And it made his
speeches so simple and appealing to
the farmers that he was elected.”
(A story for the speaker who promises not to
indulge in technical jargon and complicated terms.)