“Goofy On The Couch”
It’s no fun to kiss a girl over the phone
unless you happen to be in the same booth with
her.
Our unabashed Dictionary defines :
Continence as mind over what matters,
Falsies: “as hidden persuaders;”
Happy married couple: “As a husband out
with another man’s wife.”
Maiden aunt: “As a girl who never had
sense enough to say, uncle.”
Proposal: “As a proposition that lost its
Nerve:
Shotgun wedding: as a case of wife or
death;
Vicious circle: as a wedding ring.
The adaptability of the human-animal never
fails to amaze us: We’ve just heard about the
girl who was picked up so often that she began
to grow handles.
Two sexy young starlets were sipping
stingers at Chasen’s in Hollywood.
“You remember that backless, frontless,
sideliners evening gown I wore to the sneak
preview last week?”
“Sure,” said her friend. “It was a sensation.”
“I just found out it’s a belt.”
“May I be of help, sir?” asked the
impressively attired, haughty salesman in the
foreign care showroom.
“Yep,” said the casually dressed and
obviously self-made man of means. “My
girlfriend isn’t feeling well.
“Which got in the way of a get-well car?”
“I have nine children, and I’ve just found
out my husband has never really loved me,” said
the distraught woman to her lawyer.
“There, there, my dear,” said the attorney.
Just imagine the fix you’d be in today if he had.”
Preparing to fight one another, the two
little boys were exchanging eternal taunts.
“My father can beat your father!” cried one.
“Oh, yeah?” said the other, “Your father is
my father!”
“What are you nagging me about?”
complained the husband
“I was in last night by a quarter of 12.”
“You were not, you liar!” cried the irate
wife. “I heard you come in, and the clock was
striking three.”
“Well, stupid,” said Sunny, “isn’t three-quarters of 12?”
“Your continual unfaithfulness proves you
are an absolute rotter,” stormed the outraged wife
who had just caught her husband for the seventh
time in a sportive ramp with another woman.
“Quite the contrary,” came the cool reply.