“hilarious one-liners”
She was sweet, she was breathtakingly
lovely, and she was alone. Most of the men in
the cocktail lounge were owed by her beauty
but afraid to approach her. Not so, Augie. He
downed his drink, straightened his tie, and
gracefully slid onto the stool beside hers,
favouring her with a warm smile.
“You know,” he began smoothly, “I hate to
see a young girl like you ruin her reputation and
destroy her character by hanging around a bar.
Let me take you to the same place where the
atmosphere is quiet and more refined, like my apartment.
When Sunny returned looking tanned and
rested, his secretary asked him about his
vacation.
“Well,” he replied, “a friend of mine invited
me to his hunting lodge—a quiet, secluded
place. No nightlife, parties, not a woman
within a hundred miles.”
“Did you enjoy yourself?” she asked.
“Who went?” he said.
“What’s that drink you’re mixing?” the
Stanger asked the bartender in the exotic
Caribbean bar.
“I call this a rum dandy,” said the bartender.
“What’s in it?” asked the stranger.
“Sugar, Milk and rum,” said the barkeep.
Is it good?” asked the stranger.
“Sure,” said the bartender. “The sugar gives
you pep; the milk gives you energy.”
“And the rum?” asked the stranger.
“Ideas about what to do with all that pep
and energy.”
Marry and Bob was in their upper berth
on the train to Jaipur, and she was so
wonderstruck that she kept repeating over and
over again: “Bobby, I just can’t believe that we’re
really married.”
Finally, a sleepy voice bellowed out from
below: “For Chrissake, Bobby, Convice her…we
warna get to sleep!”
Dear Dad read the young soldier’s first
letter home, “I cannot tell you where I am, but
yesterday I shot a polar bear…”
Several months later came another letter,
Dear Dad, I still cannot tell you where I am but
yesterday I danced with a huge girl…”
Two weeks later came yet another note,
“Dear Dad, I still cannot till you where I am, but
yesterday the doctor told me I should have danced
with the Polar bear and shot the hula girl…”
The hotel reservations clerk opened the
telegram and read: Do you HAVE ANY
ACCOMMODATIONS WHERE I CAN PUT
UP WITH MY WIFE?