“Hilarious SMS Jokes That Will Make Your Day”
One of the advantages of married life is that
the husband always knows where his money
went—his wife spent it.
An Australian salesman made the
an acquaintance of a rather attractive Swedish lady
whilst holidaying in Bali. Since neither spoke the
other’s language, they mimed a great deal,
laughed a lot and enjoyed each other’s company
immensely.
On their final night together, the
Swede produced a piece of paper on which she
had sketched a picture of a bed.
Back home a few days later, the Aussie told
his astonished friends about the encounter and
added. I just can’t figure out how she knew
I worked for a furniture company.
A Moscow father was complimenting another
on his three sons.
One a people’s doctor, one a people’s lawyer,
and one a people’s artist.
Yes, theys’ find boys, said the father, but
the son I’m really proud of is in America.
He is unemployed and gets money from the
government, and if it weren’t for the few dollars
he sends home; we’d starve.
An old lady kept asking the bus driver to tell
her when they arrived at a certain small town.
She asked so often that finally, the driver got
nervous and passed through the small town
before he realized it. He apologized to the other
passengers. Turned around and drove back.
Then he said to the old lady. This is the town
where you wanted to get out.
Who wants to get out? She answered.
The driver said You did.
No, she said my daughter told me that when
I pass through this town; I should take my pills.
I want a pair of red, open-toed shoes with low
heels, said the tall blonde to the shoe salesman.
To go with what? He asked.
A short office manager was her can-do reply.
AT 3.00 A.M., the cautious husband silently
inserted his key in the front door, but his wife
was on hand to greet him.
Hah; She cried; three O’clock; I suppose
you’re going to tell me you’ve been out
somewhere holding a sick friend’s hand.
Well, said the man sadly, it had been holding
his hand, we’d be a lot richer tonight.