Image of a Women
Well, there are some basic good ideas you should consider while you’re setting yourself up for Saturday night. You may be able to attract a swarm of pheromone-oozing men just by being a ‘mega-sex’, but the type of man you end up chatting to will be largely determined by how you present yourself.
These tips will give you basic guidelines for a basic guy. You may be worrying that the better you look the more intimidating you will be. Stop it, this isn’t a bad thing, you’re just getting rid of the rotten apples before they spoil the barrel.
There are lots of tortuous things that you can do to can a man into slack-jawed, tight-trousered lust. Some are sly and others even your maiden aunt with her close friend Pat and thirty tomcats would know.
• Always define your waist. It doesn’t really matter if you’re six stone or sixteen, flaunt your waistline. If you don’t have one, fake it with a thick black belt or something equally creative. Just make sure that there is a noticeable difference between your hip and waist ratio. Apparently, the ideal waist has a ratio of 0:7. Once again, it’s the whole fertility thing. A pre-pubescent girl or one who is going through the early stages of puberty will only have a very small hip-to-waist ratio. A woman who has passed through menopause has a thickened waist, lowering her ratio back down to pre-adolescence figures.
• While you’re busy de-emphasizing your waist, tuck some extra padding in your bra. The larger the bust line the less your waist is emphasised anyway. Come to think of it, large breasts seem to de-emphasize everything in life to the simplest of terms for men.
• Regardless of the current fashion, stay away from heavy make-up. Wear the sheerest of foundations or he’ll know that he’s seeing your make-up, not your face.
• Dilated pupils are associated with sexual arousal. In previous centuries, young senoritas put drops of orange juice in their eyes to make their pupils dilate. Think about how it feels when you’re peeling an orange with a hung nail. In the sixties, there were large quantities of pot around. In the eighties, you could buy magnifying contacts (you still can, but then, you can also buy violet lenses. Need I say more?) For now, your best bet is a little black eyeliner applied discreetly.
• Always wear lipstick and a blusher. Your lips and cheeks flush when you’re aroused.
• Think healthy-looking when caring for your skin and hair. If these bits look well the rest of you are more likely to be healthy, and fruitful to boot.
• Find one look that makes you feel incredibly attractive and stick with it. Ideally, you should feel able to take over the world while wearing that red lycra number cut down to South Africa.
• Think about the impression you want to make, keeping in mind which kind of chatting up you’re attempting. If you are trying sexy snoozing, look the part. Most men love the idea, if not the reality, of a one-night stand. So, don’t be girly or cute or wear floral patterns or tracksuits. Look as though you do it.
If you want him to call after the requisite three days, or if you want his phone number for a similar purpose, look like yourself. That’s who you want him to want.
That’s about it. Don’t go on about your thighs or how your wardrobe is totally devoid of anything resembling a bold fashion statement. Men don’t notice these things and only catty cows are evil enough to mention it. If they are the ones you are trying to impress, you’re reading the wrong book.