“Indian SMS Humor: Jokes That Reflect the Quirkiness of India”
Banta went to Canada and asked a call girl, “How
much?”
Call girl says, “$50 on bed, $20 on sofa, $10 on grass.”
Banta gives her $50.
Call girl told, “You are a man of class.”
Banta said, “No, 5 time on grass.”
How does santa dial 9896098960?
He’ll dial 98960 and then redial.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does
not turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies,
‘‘I am coming daily from 4 days. I press the bell, but no
one comes out.’’
Santa: People of Pakistan are so nice, they call Indians
to their home and offer free sex.
Banta: Have you been to Pakistan?
Santa: No, my wife goes often.
One morning santa made south indian breakfast.
Wife: How did u made such huge idlis?
Santa: With this special cloth for making idlis!
Wife: Idiot! that is not a cloth to make idlis, its my BRA!
Santa running after a Bus to catche it….
Santa : Yeh Bus teri Maa lagti hai?
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To kya Bahan lagti hai ?
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To Saley chadne kyun nahin deta?
Ek din Santa ka ladka beach par ghoom raha tha. Usne
ek lady dekhi, jiski bra niche gir gayi thi. Ladka uske
pass jakar bola , “Aunti ji, aapki duddhu ka Dhakkan
Niche Gir gaya hai, Utha lo. ’’
Why was Santa frustrated when he got twins?…He
was wondering who is the father of the second child.
Santa went to an art gallery.
Santa: DO U CALL THIS HORRIBLE PICTURE A
MORDEN ART?
Art dealer: PARDON SIR! IT’S NOT A PAINTING,IT
IS A ‘MIRROR’!!!
Santa (to doctor): Wherever I touch my body with my
finger, it pains.
Doctor X-rayed Santa’s whole body and found his
finger was fractured.
Santa was writing his father’s name on a 1000 Watt
bulb.
His father asked him, ‘‘What are you doing ?’’
Santa told, ‘‘Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon. ’’
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a
jury.
I’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve
thought again.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
A man is incomplete untill he is married. After that,
he is finished.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and
a deaf husband.
Santa: Oh god! Please make New York, the capital of
Punjab!
Banta: Why are you praying so?
Santa : Coz, that is what I have written in the exam.
Happiness is never perfect untill it is shared with some
one.
An ass behind another ass behind that you and behind
you the whole nation. Sardar teaching his children the
spelling of ASSISSINATION.
A Sardar in an interview….
Sardar : I want 1 lakh salary, a flat and a car.
Boss: I’ll give u 5 lakhs, 2 flats and 3 cars.
Sardar: Mazak kyun karte ho sir?
Boss: Shuru kisne kiya tha?
A friend asks to sardar, “How was ur exam?”
Sardar told, “It was ok but I cudn’t answer past tense of
THINK. I thought, thought & finally wrote THUNK.”
Sardar: Doctor help me, main jab baat karta hun to
mujhe sirf awaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahin dikhta.
Doctor: Aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
A sardar is in a restaurant and his cellular phone rings,
so he picks it up and says, ‘‘Hello, how did you know I
was here?’’
Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and
says, ‘‘Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon.’’
The other sardar replies, ‘‘Kamaal Hai, Ithe Vi Main
Bol Raha Hoon !’’
Sardar proposed a girl….
The girl said, ‘‘I’m 1yr elder to you.”
Sardar said, ”Oh! No Problem Soniye, I’ll marry you
NEXT YEAR.”
