“Jokes Bazaar: India’s Vibrant Collection of SMS Humor”
Why did the lights in the priest’s motel room go off
when the sexy girl walked in?
A willpower failure!
What’s the worst thing about playing pasture?
Sliding into what you thought was third base!
What’s the difference between grandma and a girl
with her period?
Grandma goes to bed with Gramps!
What would you call it when a hooker fucks a guy with
no arms and no legs?
Cash and Carry!
Why did the girl go to the nude beach?
To snatch a few rays!
How can you tell if a man grew up with sisters?
One of his eyes is shaped like a heyhole!
If you are raped and you cannot defend yourself…
keep still and enjoy it !
When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I’m a
lady and I play with boys!!
You know when you are really too fat? When you
are on the beach and Greenpeace carries you back to
the sea.
When are you really full of confidence? … If you fart
having diarrhoea.
Roses are red, Violets are blue,
but a face like yours belongs in the zoo !!!
On the door of a toilet…Some people come here to sit
and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
Nice hair, a shame that you sit on it.
What’s a VD specialist?
A misfortune teller.
What did the losing high school football team do after
the coach told them to pull themselves together?
Marched into the shower and had a circle jerk!
Why did the cop would the lady right between the
things?
He was a crack shot!
How does an adult fairy tale begin?
Once upon a girl there was a time…!
What’s the dirtiest item in the bedroom?
The dresser (It never changes its drawers)!
What do all animal lovers have in common?
Their habits are illegal!
Who’s the world’s greatest actress?
A girl who can act naive on the first night of her second
marriage!
Why do jokes about oral sex choke people up?
Because they’re in bad taste!
What’s better for a girl than knowing what makes a
man tick?
Knowing what makes him go off!
Why wasn’t the girl sure if her date was going to be
fum in bed?
Because he told her he’d be good for seconds?
Why did the kindergarten kd walk around with his
zipper open?
In case he had to count to eleven!
How can you tell the nearsighted man at the nudist
colony?
It isn’t hard!
What’s an indication that a call girl is from a very small
town?
The only thing open all night is her legs!
What’s the difference between an alarm clock and a
man’s pecker?
The alarm clock goes off to get him up!
Who are the only kids more screwed up than the kids
whose parents are divorced?
The kids whose parents stayed together!
What happend to the fashion conscious girl who had
five sets of tits?
She would up on the Ten Breast Dressed List!
Why does everybody masturbate?
Because we all know that if you want something done
right, you have to do it yourself.
Why is it all right for a son to go into debt for his father?
Because his father went into the hole for him!
What does a man do standing up, a woman sitting
down, and a dog on three legs?
Shake hands!
Why is a false eye made of glass?
To look through.
Why does beer contain female hormones?
When you drink too much of it, you cannot say
anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you
are no longer able to drive a car.
How is an intelligent woman called?…A transvestite.
It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible
monster? …My fly!
Why did God create the man first and only
afterwards the woman?
To give him the chance to enjoy heaven on earth for
just a few moments.
