LIFE AS A WORKING PARENT
There are many advantages for working mothers—like feeling independent, extra stimulation derived from work, and even the fact that you and your child may appreciate each other all the more for spending less time together.
But there’s a price: your free time. The most non-working time now goes—not on you—but on your child, and instead of coming home from work and collapsing into a chair with a drink, your baby will want your dividend attention. It’s not good pretending this will be a breeze. It won’t. But forewarned is forearmed, and your aim now is to make life as easy as possible, especially during the first three months of adjusting to your dual role. To do this, you need the following:
• A husband who is prepared to share the child and the housework. The key word here is share. You want a partner in this project, not someone who changes the odd nappy occasionally. The best approach is to discuss this during your pregnancy and extract an agreement to share child care and domestic chores (which he should preferably sign in blood or have tattooed indelibly across his wrist).
It’s a sad fact of life that conditions on the home front haven’t kept up with advances in the workplace, and many women still end up doing the major share at home. This is a real health hazard.
To Lighten the Domestic Load
• A good rule for the first few months is to Do Nothing Unless It’s Absolutely Necessary. Ration your resources to cope with work and the baby. Most working mothers will tell you they quickly learn to turn a blind eye to dust and less-than-perfect housekeeping. Plan one supermarket expedition once a fortnight or monthly rather than weekly. It saves a lot of time and energy. Use shops that deliver telephone orders.
• Get help with leaning or ironing—if you can afford it. This might seem like an outrageous luxury, but it is a good investment in your well-being. it might be worth going without something else to afford in those first few hectic weeks of juggling job and baby. Knowing someone else has taken care of the major chores, it’s a great relief to wake up (or be woken up.) on Saturday morning.
• Rest as much as you can. Even if the baby sleeps through the night, you may still have to contend with broken sleep due to wet nappies and teething pangs. Make a deal with your partner that you each sleep in one weekend morning while the other looks after the baby. Use times why the baby sleeps on weekends to rest yourself—lying down with a good book makes more sense than doing all the house cleaning.
• A good diet and exercise. Convenience food might be very tempting at this stage, but if you adopt bad eating habits, you’ll short-change the nutrients you need to stay on top. The fitter you are, the more stamina you’ll have to cope, so exercise when you can—perhaps lunchtime walks on work days or long walks with the stroller on weekends.
• Limit your work responsibilities. Of course you’ll want to do your job well, but during these early months isn’t the time to take on extra commitments that aren’t strictly necessary.
• A last word about guilt. Be prepared to feel guilty—almost furtive, even—the first time you leave your baby in childcare. You’ll find the guilt fades once you see how happy your baby can be in the company of other people.
As well as helping you get on with the job without worrying, good child care offers children real benefits like fresh experiences, companionships and help relating to other people.