Buzz Lelo

“LMAO: The Funniest SMS Jokes Making Rounds in India”

• What kind of children do you get using a yellow
  condom ? … NONE ! you stupid !

• If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more
  powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous
  can a fax be ?

• What happens when you got scared twice half-dead?

• What is the velocity of the darkness ?

• Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?

• How do you know when you run out of invisible ink ?

• When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get ?

• Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
  They all have a phone!

• What happens when the earth turn 30 times faster
  …You get your salary every day and all women bleed
  dead!!!

• Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman?
  The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!

• Why are men happy when they finish a puzzle in
  two months time…..
  Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.

• Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at
  the same time…?
  Because he would be a woman then.

• Why are men like a toothbrush?
  They are useless without handle.

• Why are men like snails?
  They have horns, they slobber and they trudge
  along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.

• The resemblance of a man and a cup of coffee?
  They both get on the nerve.

• What happens when a man is in the water up till his
  navel ?
  That is beyond his comprehension.

• Why do have so many men a beer gut?
  Than atleast an unemployed dwarf has a roof over
  his head.

• My husband and I cannot decide… a dog or a
  child..do we ruin our carpet or our life?

• When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look
  ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend
  will be there.

• Woh to hum hain jo aapki chahat ko dil mein rakh ke
  ghoomte hain, varna aap jaise SOFT WARES to
  bazaar mein bahut bikte hain!

• Aapka hasna, aapka chalna, aapki woh style aur
  aapki adaon ki humne SAVE kar li hai ek FILE!

• Ab aur nahin sah sakte hum intezar,
  Humare dil ki SITE pe jaldi ENTER karo yaar!

• What is the difference between a woman and a
  fridge?
  A fridge does not moan when there is meat inside.

• It is round and orange says, ”I am an orange, I am an
  orange”? …A mandarin who thinks big.

• What is the difference between a washing machine
  and a teacher?
  A washing machine runs on electricity and a teacher
  gets on the nerves.

• What is the difference between a battery and a
  woman? … A battery has also a positive side.

• Why do have men bandy legs?
  All unimportant matters are between brackets.

• How does a dummy catch a rabbit? … He sits behind
  a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.

• How does a dummy catch a rabbit? … He sits behind
  a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.

• It is white and it stands in the corner?
  A punished fridge.

• What is resemblance between a man and a dolphin?
  They both seem intelligent, but it has not been
  proven yet!!!

• Why did God create the man first and only then the
  woman?
  Everyone makes a draft first!!!

• Why do men exist?
  Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.

• What do you do when your mother-in-law is
  walking in the garden?… Shoot again.

• Why do women have legs ? … Otherwise there will
  be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.

• When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a
  year, why is there a lock on the door ?