“LOL Moments: Enjoying the Best SMS Jokes from India”
Boss tells his new employee, “Santa Singh, I’ll give you
10 bucks an hour starting today and in three months,
I’ll raise it to 20 bucks an hour. So when would you like
to start?”
Santa replied, “In three months.’’
Ek sardar ji se ek aadmi ne poocha, ‘‘Akal badi ya
bhains.’’
Sardar ji thoda sochne ke baad bole, ‘‘Pahle donon ki
umar batao, phir bataunga.’’
FLASH NEWS: A Two seater plane crashed in a
graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more.
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, ”Aapke paas
colour TV hai kya?”
”Haan,” replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, ‘‘Ek hara vala dena.’’
Q: Why did Fauja put the clock in the safe?
A: He wanted to save time.
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked, ‘‘How will U divide, Ur 3 children?’’
Sardar replied, ‘‘Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR.’’
A Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend
asked, ‘‘Why r u writing so slowly?’’
Sardar told, ‘‘I’m writing a letter to my 6 yr old son, he
can’t read very fast.’’
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his
second wife to his success.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a
philosopher.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve
is extracted.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re
looking for, go live with a car battery.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A
little candle light, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
A death finishes all tragedies, all comedies by
a marriage.
Sardar went to meet his Chinese friend who is dieing in
hospital. Friend says, ‘‘CHIN YU YAN.’’
And then he dies. Sardar goes 2 china 2 find meaning
of friends last words. The Meaning is YOU ARE
STANDING ON THE OXYGEN TUBE!
English Man: Humare America mein War ho gaya hai.
Sardar ji: Humare India mein to roz hi war hota hai.
English Man : – Woh kaise?
Sardar ji: Somwar, Mangalwar, Budhwar…..!!!
Santa wanted to make an STD call to PUNJAB. He
wanted to save money on phone call. He went to
punjab and made a LOCAL CALL!!!!!
Santa on KBC’s Hot Seat.
Host: What is your wife’s figure?
A) 36-24-36
B) 36-36-36
C) 24-24-24
D) 24-36-24
Santa: I will like to use my ‘phone a friend’ lifeline.
Host: Whom you like to talk to?
Santa: My friend, Banta.
Kisi ne Santa se Kaha, “Santa, teri beti mar gayi!!!”
Yeh sunte hi Santa 100story building se neeche kood
pada.
At 50th floor he said, ‘‘Arey! meri to koi beti hi nahin
hai.”
At 25th floor he said, ‘‘Arey! meri to abhi shaadi bhi
nahin hui hai.”
At 10th floor he told, ‘‘AREY MAIN SANTA KAHAN,
MAIN TO BANTA HOON. ’’
Santa: Main ghar jate hi biwi ki panty utaar dunga.
Banta: Aaj bade mood mein lag raha hai?
Santa: Nahi yaar, mujhe bahut tight ho rahi hai.
Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked, ‘‘What are you doing? ’’
Santa replied, “Drying sweat.”
Santa was foddling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahin kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bhid mein isse achha nahin ho sakta.
Q : Why was Fauja writing the exam near the door?
A : Coz it was an entrance exam.
A Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says, ‘‘What a shit ? I read the whole book, too many
character, no story at all?”
Librarian said, ‘‘So, you are the one who took the
Telephone Directory….’’
Q: You know why it’s best to have a nudist wedding?
A: You can really tell who the best man is!
