How Dogs and Women are alike…Neither believe that
silence is golden. Neither can balance a checkbook. Both
put too much value on kissing.
I‘ve got the ship, you‘ve got the harbor…what say we
tie up for the night?
Press down..More…Ok more…WOW yes ahh ohh
yes….almost there….oh god harder…faster..FEELS
GOOD…oh goddd!…That‘s how I sex on text!
Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don‘t know. Never happens.
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making
love?
Honey, I‘m home!
The lady and her lover were in bed in a motel. Lady
suddenly exclaimed, ‘‘You know what I’m doing is
strictly against doctor’s orders.’’
‘‘What’s the matter honey? Are you ill?’’
‘‘No, I’m married to a doctor.’’
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with
her boy friend.
Next morning she found out she was 6 months
pregnant.
Hi I‘m an alien. I‘m checking for some chicks in your
phonebook searching…searching…searching…sorry no
chicks found.
What’s the definition of suspicion?
A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.
Q: Wat‘s the diff between pulling a curtain and a
panty?
A: When u pull a curtain, it means Dat the show is
over. But pulling down a panty means IT‘S
SHOWTIME!
Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
Jab koyi larki shadi se pahle pregnant ho jaye aur
uski maa bole, HEY BHAGWAN yeh tune kya kiya?
Jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water.
God knows what they did but came back with a
daughter.
Q: How do you reuse a condom?
A: Turn inside out and shake d fuck out of it!
I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanks
giving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow.
Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!
Teacher to Bunty: How’s your new home?
Bunty: Excellent. I’ve my own room, my sister has her
room, and my brother has his separate room. But poor
mum, she has to live in dad’s room.
Q: According to a Botany student which thing grows
before it is planted?
A: Male organ!
Some people say money can’t buy happiness. But we
all know money can buy sex. So what does it mean?
It means some people don’t know what happiness is.
You know things have gotten bad when you fake your orgasms while masturbating.
Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.
Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.
Then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
According to Japanese doctors, woman’s body has 5
rooms:
1. Face (Show room),
2. Boobs (Play room),
3. Tummy (Store room),
4. Vagina (Men’s room),
5. Anus (Emergency room).
Q: Why is a prosititure like a chicken farmer?
A: Both of them earn a living raising cocks.
Man who fights with his wife all day gets no piece 8
night.
Q: What’s d lightest thing in d world?
A: A penis. Even a thought can raise it.
Q: Know d definition of a wife?
A: An attachment you screw on d bed to get d housework done.
BAHU ka 1st & 2nd affair sunne ke baad SASUR ne
Bahu ko mara. 3rd & 4th sunne ke baad PATI ne mara,
but SAAS chup rahi why?
KYUNKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI.
A man wanted 2 get married!He had a choice of 3
women!1st woz a rich doctor, 2nd woz a poor
cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute !
WHO DID HE PICK? The 1 wid big tits!
23 useless parts on a mans body. 20 nails u can’t
hammer. 2 balls u can’t throw & 1 cock that can’t
“crow.” Don’t laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CAN’T CATCH
MICE.
