MUTUAL PLEASURING
Now incorporating all you have learned, move into experiences that bring both of you a kind of touching joy that is most satisfying. Remember to begin slowly. Start on the outside edges of the body-face, feet, and hands-and gradually move into breasts and genitals, then back out to the rest of the body. Never stick with any one bit of anatomy for too long. Enjoy the excitement together and learn ways to heighten the good feelings. By now you should be able to count on each other to take responsibility to inform the other if anything occurs that is not positive. Don’t rush into intercourse. Rather, continue to go after all the positive feelings.
In all of your pleasuring experiences follow these guidelines: be sure not to fake a response; stop and rest any time you need to; communicate when you feel pressured; and remember that the goal is to increase the frequency, the intensity, and the duration of the positive feelings. If the woman should happen to become intensely aroused and wants to continue the stimulation, she (not he) may pursue her desires even to the point of orgasm. It is critical that this be a possibility, not a goal! If the man desires further stimulation that is comfortable for the woman, she may stimulate him to the point of orgasm, though this should be saved until they are near the end of the experience.
A word to the wives here may be important. Many a wife becomes anxious about what is happening to her husband during these periods of time when there is no intercourse. Manual stimulation to orgasm brings adequate physical release. A committed, loving husband understands that experiences without the possibility and demand of intercourse are necessary to allow you to realize your sexual potential. He will be willing to do without intercourse until you are ready. Do not let your fantasies about what he is needing or wanting get in the way.
As you feel comfortable, lie together with either one of you on top, having the erect penis in contact with the clitoral area. Many women enjoy using the penis, erect or flaccid, as a paintbrush over the clitoris and vaginal opening. This brings extra stimulation. Use the penis in any way that brings you pleasure. Put the end of the penis at the opening of the vagina without entry. And the time be assured that finding ways to use his body to arouse you will bring pleasure to him.