ORGASM AND FOREPLAY
An orgasm represents the zenith of human pleasurable experiences. Orgasm is derived from the Greek word orgies, which means to swell with lust.
Orgasm is defined as an explosive, cerebrally encoded, neuromuscular response, at the peak of sexual arousal by psychopathological stimuli, the pleasurable sensations of which are experienced in association with dispensable pelvic physiological concomitants.
What is an orgasm?
An orgasm represents the zenith of human pleasurable experiences. Orgasm is derived from the Greek word orgies, which means to swell with lust.
Orgasm is defined as an explosive, cerebrally encoded, neuromuscular response, at the peak of sexual arousal by psychopathological stimuli, the pleasurable sensations of which are experienced in association with dispensable pelvic physiological concomitants.
Why orgasm?
Sex is not merely the means to an end. It is both: the means to an end (procreation), as well as an end in itself (pleasure). Orgasm is nature’s masterstroke. By providing an inherently sensual pleasure-oriented side to our personality, nature has ingeniously accomplished the dual objective of pleasure and procreation.
The pleasure principle has, is, and shall always remain principal.
Early Orgasmic Response (EOR): This is defined as an orgasm that is experienced earlier than one’s idealized expectations, which are within rational limits.
Delayed Orgasmic Response (DOR): When orgasm does ultimately occur, but is delayed beyond one’s idealized expectations, which are within rational limits, it is called delayed orgasmic response.
Impaired Orgasmic Response (IOR): It is defined as a reduction in the intensity of the orgasmic pleasure.
Absent Orgasmic Response (AOR): This category includes cases in which there is a complete failure to experience a pleasure.
How does one reach orgasm?
When an individual has a sexual desire he departs from the normal state and enters into the sexual state and is deemed to have undergone sexual grounding. Sexual grounding or the sexual state is a state in which the subject becomes receptive to the perception of stimuli inputs as sexual. Once this occurs, psychopathological stimuli arouse the sex center in the brain which starts sending out impulses, which are usually pleasurable. When such impulses reach the genitalia, the resultant increased flow of blood leads to congestion in the genitals. This phenomenon is usually manifested as erection in the male and lubrication in the female. Further stimulation enhances arousal and eventually culminates in orgasm.
What is interplay?
Interplay encompasses the whole spectrum of sexual interaction, that is, the entire grommet of motions and emotions between individuals indulging in ‘play’.
Is foreplay important?
Yes, it is extremely important. It kindles the desire and marks the beginning of the interplay. Adequate foreplay ensures adequate arousal and promotes sexual compatibility.
Is after-play important?
Yes. After-play is as important as foreplay. Though penovaginal sex is regarded as the most intimate and satisfying form of sexual activity, this is not always true. There are many women who report—”I am not worried about orgasm but I would very much appreciate a bit of love play. Vatsyayana, in the Kamasutra, has given a lot of emphasis on the after play and he has mentioned that after-play is equally, if not more, important than foreplay. Most people enjoy being held, cuddled, talked to, and partners need to communicate with each other as to what they prefer. Many a time, a woman in her fifties or so would come and report—”Doctor, sex is now far more satisfying despite the fact that my husband is unable to achieve an erection.” Perhaps he is forced to learn or devote more time to foreplay after the play which takes away the feeling of mechanical sex and, at times, when he is unable to perform, there is enough warmth and affection.
Foreplay introduces and after play summarizes the crucial interplay.
Are there any techniques to delay orgasm?
Many techniques have been used to delay orgasm. The methods commonly used by many include mental arithmetic, local anesthetic ointment, and wearing a disposable tissue, and a condom around the penis to decrease sensitivity. Other methods include:
1. Voluntarily interrupting and restarting the flow of urine repeatedly.
2. Vajroli mudra and Ashwini mudra.
3. The squeezes/stop-start technique.
How does one go ahead with these exercises?
Identifying the pelvic muscles is simple. Just voluntarily interrupt and restart the flow of urine. These are the muscles you need to train. Once identified, try contracting and relaxing these muscles five times, thrice a day; increase the frequency to ten times in the next week and then, 15 and 20 times in subsequent weeks. Continue repetitions thrice a day 20 times for four to six weeks. These exercises can be done while standing at the bus stop, sitting in the office, or at any other time. After contracting the pelvic muscles, one should hold them for about 3 seconds before relaxation, and 60 or 70 of these exercise maneuvers in a day can lead to benefits in six to eight weeks’ time.
Are there any exercises for enhancing male sexual performance?
Exercises to strengthen the pelvic muscles (chiefly those surrounding the penis) help to achieve better control over the orgasmic reflex, improve the quality of orgasm and also increase the circulation of blood in the pelvic area, perhaps leading to better erectile ability.
Which yogic exercise helps delay the climax?
The Vajroli mudra and the Ashwini mudra could be of help in the treatment of early orgasmic response. In Vajroli mudra, a person sits in any comfortable meditative asana, places his hands on his knees, closes his eyes, relaxes, and breathes through his nose. After a deep inhalation, he holds his breath and tries to draw the sexual organs upward by pulling and tensing the lower abdomen and contracting the pelvic muscles. These contractions are similar to those when one has the urge to pass urine but wishes to hold on for some time.
In Ashwini mudra, a person sits in the Padmasana (lotus position) or any meditative pose, relaxes the whole body, closes the eyes, inhales deeply, holds the breath, bends the head forward, and presses the chin tightly against the chest (chin-lock position). He then contracts the anal sphincter and relaxes, and repeats this procedure a few times. Then he extends the neck (unlocks the chin), exhales, and simultaneously relaxes the sphincter. These yogic exercises strengthen the anterior and posterior parts of the pubococcygeus muscles, respectively.
Such exercises, when done ten times, every morning and evening, for six to eight weeks often lead to adequate control over the orgasmic reflex. Sometimes, the practice of contracting the anterior part of the pubococcygeus muscle just prior to orgasmic (ejaculatory) inevitability during coitus helps delay the orgasm (climax).
ORGASM AND ROLLER
If arousal takes place without release it is likely to cause discomfort. That discomfort can best be handled through the mutual expression of care and affirmation.
If you are a woman who consistently experiences arousal without release it is crucial that you share this with your husband. Let him know what your body feels like so that the two of you can move closer together. There can be some relief even in being reached out to. He needs to know what you need.
What about multiple orgasms?
A woman’s body is designed so that she can have another orgasm at any point in the resolution phase. It can be five seconds, five minutes, or fifty minutes after the previous orgasm. There is no waiting or rest period necessary before she is physically capable of experiencing another orgasm if the stimulation is continued or renewed. Her body does not need to return to its prestimulated state before it can be responsive again. This is not to say that having more than one orgasm is better or those sexually ‘together’ women will desire this. The point is that, physically, if she desires it and can allow it; the woman’s orgasm can be repeated indefinitely.
FOR THE MAN
After orgasmic release, the man returns rather quickly to the prestimulated state. His erection may not decrease completely, but the penis is usually somewhat flaccid and the testicles lowered. There is a loss in the tension build-up and in the intensity of the feelings. Some men report that the glans or head of the penis becomes very sensitive to touch after an ejaculation and that because of this they want to quickly disengage from their partner. The man may not have told this to his wife because he feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about it. It is important to know that a significant number of men feel this post-ejaculation pain. If you experience this discomfort, it is crucial to share this with your partner so that she is sympathetic and understanding, rather than taking your withdrawal as a kind of rejection.
It is rare for a man not to experience orgasm. However, there are some men (especially older men) who do not need an orgasm and who do not feel frustrated without one.