SIMPLE MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES
Every child is programmed at birth towards a certain temperament.
TOILET TRAINING
Forcing stubborn children to use the toilet is an utter waste of time. This is one area where they alone have complete control, and if you are to succeed, only cunning will suffice. It is pointless, for example, to start urine training until the child is sensible enough to realise when she’s wet. Towelling tanner pants might speed this up by altering the child to dampness accompanied by an uncomfortable chill. Unfortunately, these pants only slightly filter the wee before it lands on your best carpet.
Once children know when they’re wet, most will train themselves and need no more than gentle encouragement.
Bowel training is rarely worth considering before 18 months, and 2 years is about the right age. Disregard all those boring people who claim that their child was fully trained at 8-9 months. As I’ve mentioned before, this particular achievement results from toilet timing. Not toilet training and is nothing more than an exciting reflex of the child.
The first goal is to get them to sit on the pot or toilet two or three times a day. This is best achieved by fun rather than force. Encourage them with enthusiasm. Reading a story while they sit or even resort to those little rewards that rot the teeth. Use a pot or toilet with a seat shaped like a child’s bottom and aim for a sit of about five minutes. Never make a fuss if they refuse.
Once they are sitting comfortably ( and regularly), then it’s time to begin. A little psychological nudge is now called for.
Gosh, John. You’re almost 2 now and 2 years old big boys do poo on the potty?
Just relax and give it time. You will be surprised at your success.
FEEDING
Small children are, on the whole, not admirers of Cordon blue cookery, so it’s unwise to be too ambitious in your cooking projects. You could find that your hours of slaving away in the kitchen will be greeted by little more than a loud “Yuk”, and no amount of hassling or aeroplane noises will get the food down the big tube.
Here are some choice feeding titbits from our Toddler Taming technique which should make your gastronomic life simpler :
1. The concept of a varied mixed diet is lost on most young children. Neither they nor their stomachs mind a bit of nourishing monotony.
2. Food is there to be enjoyed, not used to feed some parental obsession. Good health is not measured by the enormity of intake; it is seen as energy and a mischievous zest for life.
3. Children’s tastes are different from adults; there is no reason why they should enjoy the same sort of food as your sophisticated palate has grown used to.
4. While it makes for a simpler life if your child eats three meals a day along with the rest of the family, healthy snacks throughout the day are just as nutritious, and if that’s the only way you’re going to get her to eat then at that stage it’s better left like that
5. If the child is a snicker, you don’t have to confine her to strips of raw celery, carrot and raisins. Sandwiches, cheese and crackers, biscuits, a cold sausage or small pieces of meat are equally good.
6. Remember, milk is a high calorie food. If the child is given too much, the body won’t see the need for three big meals daily. If you want a more balanced feeding pattern, you may have to cut down on the milk.
7. If your child refuses her meal, you shouldn’t throw a tantrum. Put it aside, but don’t offer her any alternatives. When hunger pains return, re-introduce the meal. If she’s hungry, she’ll eat it eventually. If she ever catches wind of the fact that there may be an alternative to what you have served up, your culinary life for the years to come will be hell when she demands a replacement meal.
8. If a child intends to eat, she’ll eat. Making aeroplane noise or getting Dad to stand on one leg in a bucket while he juggles 35 two soft-boiled eggs and the family cat may be fun for the rest of you, but it won’t help your child’s appetite. Save the entertaining performance for playtime.
9. Be assured that no child has ever starved to death through stubbornness; that’s a pastime reserved solely for adult activists.
TANTRUMS
An Oscar-winning performance is on its way, and your part-time angel is about to fling herself to the floor and write around like King Johri at the signing of the Mangna Carta. Get in there quick while she’s still preparing for her act, and try to divert her attention. If this fails, pretend to ignore her entirely and move to another room. It’s no fun playing kind, Rani if you haven’t got an audience to stare in awe.
If the tantrum is in public, you have more of a problem. If you have developed nerves of steel, then follow the same pattern and ignore the performance. Interested bystanders will undoubtedly blame you for being a rotten parent. But if you try smacking the child, there is bound to be another handful of people nearby who’ll object to that too. You can’t win, I’m afraid, but if you first sort out the home tantrums, outside behaviour should also soon improve.