“Smiles and Giggles: Delightful Jokes and Puns”
The kings cross landlady suspected her
the beautiful female tenant was breaking house
rules about having men upstairs.
One evening she knocked on the girl’s door
and asked, “Are you entertaining gentlemen in there?”
“I guess I must be,” simpered the lovely
young girl, “They keep coming back.”
Mandy had been robbed and was telling
the court the circumstances of the case.
“Wall, such,” she said, “On this particular day,
there was a big Republican parade going on. Ah was
leaning out man winder. This guy sneaks up, slams
the winder down on the man’s neck, and robs me.”
“Do you mean to say that while all those people were
in the street, you let this man rob you
without making an outcry?”
“Yesses, Ah could out cried, but Ah didn’t want
the people to think Ah was cheering’s Republican parade.”
(Political speakers can use this as an example of
lengths the opposing party will go to avoid
giving his group credit for obvious accomp¬lishments.)
1sT freshman: An essay should be like a woman’s skirt.
2nd freshman: How so?
1st freshman: It should be long enough to
cover the subject and be short enough to be interesting.
“I don’t get it. Chester,”
said the shy young thing.
“You asked my father for my hand
in marriage—and you have not touched
it once since then.”
Father Casey called in six one Sunday morning
so he could play golf. On the first tee, he sliced
his drive deep into the woods. As he approached
the ball, a bluebird picked it up, flew 300 meters
down the fairway and dropped it into the hole.
An angel watching from above was puzzled.
“The priest is playing hooky from church,”
he said to the Lord. “Why the reward?”
“Reward? Are you kidding?”
the Lord replied, chucking. “Whom can he tell?”
Revenge is what you feel when you seduce
your enemy’s wife, but sweet revenge
is when you find out she’s a lousy lay.