“The Best Internet Roasts and Comebacks”
Customer: “Do you really sell fresh
juices?”
Waiter: “Absolutely, Sir!”
Customer: “O.K. Get me a hot cup of tea!”
Constance and a man they just met at a party
were in bed in a motel. They were locked in a
passionate embrace when she suddenly
exclaimed, “What I’m doing is strictly against
doctor’s errors.”
“What’s wrong, baby? Are you ill?”
“No, I’m married to a doctor.”
Mr. Sharma, a rich old man, consulted with
a doctor.
“I’ve been married three times and never
had any children. I’m seeing a gorgeous young
chickie who’s 20 and anxious to be my bride.
Here’s what I want to know. If I marry her, do
you think I’d be able to have an heir?”
“I’m sorry,” said the doctor, you may be
heir minded, but you’re not air-conditioned.”
Just a year after her marriage, Anu had
become negligent about her appearance. She
started eating heavy dishes and became a bit fat.
“Darling,” she said one evening when she
was dressing up for going out.
“Well, you still love me if I get fat?”
“I should say, not,” he growled. I promised
to love you for better or worse; not through thick
or thin.”
“It’s really a wonderful dress! Who made
it?”
“I’m not sure, but I think it was the police!”
A young beautiful lady comes over the phone:
“Three boys are trying to break into my
apartment through the window.”
“Listen, lady, this is not the police
department, it’s the fire station.”
“I know,” she replied, “but my apartment
is on the second floor and they need a ladder.”
“I am really sick of living with that man.”
Cried the Indian girl. “He hasn’t even given me
a kiss since the honeymoon.”
“Well, why don’t you divorce that horse?”
“How can I we are not married as yet!”