The Best of Internet Humor
Judge: “Well, I’m sorry, she is only fifteen,
I can’t give her a marriage license!”
Mr. Mittal: “Why not! Are you trying to
tell me my daughter is too young to do what she’s
already done and gone?”
Customer: “I understand that pretty young
lady comes to this hotel quite often?”
Hotel Manager: “Yes, every honeymoon!”
Two villagers knocked on the door of a
lawyer’s Cabin.
Mr. Vinay and Anup just found the body
of the dead man over there in the heller, and we
thought maybe it was you.”
“What’d he look like?”
“He was about your build, and.”
“Did he have on a white shirt?”
“Yup.”
“White pants!”
“Yup.”
“Black coat!”
“No, it was plain grey.”
(Closing the door) : “Nope, it wasn’t me.”
Judge: “So you say that mean-minded
the neighbor of yours kissed against your will?”
Monika: “Sure, he did!”
Judge: “But he is so much smaller than you.
How could he reach up?”
Monika: “Well, I can bend down can’t I?”
The handsome young man seated at a
restaurant table fancied himself a lady killer. He
flirted with waiters throughout the meal, but
she remained unruffled.
By the time she brought his bill, he was
getting a little put-out. He looked straight into
her eyes. Aren’t there three little words you’d
like me to whisper in your pretty pink car?”
“Yes, ” she said, looking straight back at
him, “Keep the change.”
“Do you drink?”
“No.”
“Do you smoke?”
“No.”
“Do you gamble?”
“No.”
“Do you read sexy novels?”
“No.”
“Do you do anything that’s naughty?”
“Sure, I just tell lies.”