“The Best SMS Jokes to Share with Your Family”
College girl, You studied in Paris for a whole
year and didn’t even send me a postcard.
College boy. French postcards are too dirty
to mail.
I been sure your marriage is much better since
Your wife learned to cook, as I suggested, said
the marriage counsellor.
You bet it is, answered the husband.
Now we both eat at Nirulas.
The boyfriend has been sitting in the living
room waiting for his long-time finance to come
down. To make chit-chat with her father, he
remarked: Did you know that I have been going
with your daughter for exactly 10 years? Well,
said the old man, what do you want? A pension?
I noticed that your daughter didn’t get home
until two this morning.
My daughter, Leela, was in by midnight.
I know, but you see, my daughter walked
home.
Do you live within your income?
Certainly not. It has all I can do to live within
my credit.
A friend of mine was going around town, his
mouth open. Gasping for breath, his eyes
popping out. So he went to the doctor, who
told him he had only three months to live.
He decided, therefore, to spend all his money.
One day he went into a shop and said, Give me
a few shirts, size 14½ in the neck, 32 in the sleeves.
Wait a minute, said the salesman.
You need a size 16, he announced; if you took
a 14½ you’d be going around all the time with
your mouth open, gasping for breath, your eyes
popping out.
JUDGE: Now tell the court what passed
between you and your wife during the quarrel.
Defendant: Six shoes, milk bottles, an electric
iron, a coffee pot and nine plates.
The way things are…
1. The insurance policy is an old man’s passport
to the young woman.
2. Friends are people who climb on your back
when you bend to help them.
3. Turning your back on your wife means you
would not be able to keep an eye on her.
4. Behind every successful man is a woman
who does not nag.