THE FIRST NIGHT
The first night is supposed to be the most important event in married life. This is the first meeting of the married couple and forms the foundation of the entire married life. The old saying: ‘Well begun is half done’ is never true in any other walk of life than in marriage. But here it should be understood clearly that whatever is being said is for normal married couples and not for those men or women who are steeped in accidental values, and for whom marriage is an association of conveniences and not a coalescence of the two bodies and of two minds. It is only for them that a marriage is not a contract but a sacred relationship between the two souls.
Normally, it is observed that before a meeting on their first night, both men and women are tense. This tension is obvious and has psychological undertones because, only in this relationship you choose your relation, who, though most intimate but not result out of a natural relationship. Your other relations are not out of your choice, i.e., you get your father, mother, brothers, and sister as ordained by your destiny. You have no choice in that. But a wife or a husband you choose out of so many proposals you might take her to be cold or frigid. Through the growing emancipation of women, there has come already a marked improvement in understanding and in attitude in regard to sex matters, the medieval conception of sexual activity as an exclusively masculine function, in the exercise of which the woman’s part remains passive one does not easily give way. So give her time to adjust and open out.
First of all, you must also feel her and allow her to feel you. A subtle caressing or a light embrace would give her the ‘confidence’ of opening out before you. The bride should also bear in her mind that she shouldn’t overact. After all, he is your husband and he has every right to explore your body. Take it easy and enjoy— you’re not committing an immoral act. All of your ideal ladies have gone through this act. If your husband admires your eyes and kisses them you must show by gestures that you liked his act. Egg him on subtly with your sweet smile. The path of conjugal bliss is narrow; you cannot succeed in traversing it by retaining your identity, Merge yours into his and his in yours.
The groom should also be sensitive enough to judge his bride’s reaction by her facial expressions and gestures. No bride would say on the first night, at least in India, that ‘Ah! I like it. Repeat it. Meekly and gradually arouse her sexual feeling. Sometimes a recitation of a story full of amorous dalliance does the trick. Make her join you willingly in every step you take in this direction, don’t drag her.
Having ‘readied’ her for the occasion, you begin your foreplay. The first and foremost act of foreplay is kissing. Starting the mild ‘just touching’ kiss you go on adding pressure by your lips. Kiss her on the eyes then her forehead and slide down to her lips. The ancients said, and it is a fact, that skilled lovely; the glance, the caress, and the kiss, when performed properly, can make the passions of a woman mount so soon and so high, as even to cause her to achieve her orgasm! Or even several orgasms, one after the other before ever the main organs of sex, the penis, and the vagina are brought into play either by mutual contact or by touching with the hands of either of the partners. The woman melts in your arms, although the latter may merely encircle her and nothing more, her eyes become glossy and filled with moisture akin to tears, her breath quickens and becomes audible, and she appears to cling to you and tremble as if from fear, her lips become wet and then her eyes close, and she begins to groan faintly in contentment. These are all the wonders wrought merely by your kissing her. She would now start reciprocating your kiss. Each of you would eagerly explore the lips, teeth, tongue, and interior of the other’s mouth, with your saliva mixing. The sideways and circular motions, the in-and-out movements of the tongues, the tightening, and grasping of the tongue by the partner’s mouth, the pouring out of the mingling saliva, start the secretion from the sexual glands of you both. The groom would experience the erection with a light liquid beginning to ooze out from his penis and the bride would also get wet between her legs.
But all these acts should be performed without any squeamishness or reservation, entertained by the two partners when embarking upon the ‘French kiss’, regarding the admixture of their salivas or the exploration by their mutual tongues of their partner’s mouth. The conjugal act of sex should be performed with total abandon. ‘Let the prohibitions go to dogs’ should be a mutual feeling. The woman must shun her all taboos and enjoy this uniting act of love. Asks Casanova, the famous lover, ‘What is a kiss? It is an attempt to absorb, to breathe in, a portion of the being whom we love?’ The famous sexologist advises that the kisses be moist so that they may be drunk and not merely sipped. In these kissing acts, there should be a definite action of, suction or buccal suction. Your moisture, perspiration, saliva, and even the sense of smell and the personal odor as well the personal aura, all come into it. The bride and the groom literally taste each other.
It is time you gradually start disrobing her. Meekly and slowly unbutton her blouse and cast it away. Do not rush to take out her bodice. The breasts bound in the bodice with their half-open sensuousness help turn the groom on. Caress her bound breasts with your velvety touch. Let the groom’s finger intrude in the fold of the breasts. Press the bride’s nipples with your first finger and thumb, meekly kneading them. You would definitely feel them getting harder. Now you take your bride’s bodice off. Fondling her open creamy breasts, kiss the bride still harder on her lips by holding her both breasts in your two hands. Her breath would become audible and she would start pressing against the groom’s body. Now the groom puts his hand under the folds of the petticoat or skirt and rubs the bride’s buttocks. The line separating the two buttocks is a very sensitive erotic zone in a woman’s anatomy. Caress the line with your middle finger while rubbing the buttocks with your hand. Your other hand should start clutching the mound. Rub your left-hand finger in her pubic hairs. By this time, your bride would be quite changed to press your shoulders hard with her hands. Guide her one hand to your pelvic region and let her play with your balls and penis. Since men, by nature, heat up rather soon, beware that her hand’s holding your penis does not make you come. The groom has to be extra-cautious not to ejaculate before the final act. If your bride gets dissipated by your coming rather early, she would get utterly frustrated. The entire foreplay should be totally controlled. The groom is the hunter by nature and the bride is the hunted prey. If you ‘shoot out’ without hitting your prey the entire game would turn out to be an unpleasant mutually dissatisfying play.
While caressing the line between your bride’s buttocks let it go down and down. While moving it around her anus bring it down the hard ridge of flesh between the vaginal opening and the rectum. By this time her vaginal discharges must be in full flow. Rub her mound gently and insert your middle finger down the vagina. From the top side and search for the clitoris, the chief organ of sexual stimulation in a woman’s anatomy. Caress it with your finger for a few minutes. Your bride would become restless with the sexual charge. Now rub her entire body openly and somewhat savagely. Many women get ‘ready’ only after a little savagery is performed on their bodies. She would start groaning in pleasure. By this time all her inhibitions and taboos would have been thrown to the winds. She would start madly biting your face, your shoulder, and your neck and would suck your mouth dry. It is now time to stop the foreplay and come to the actual act.
Some women greatly enjoy it when their nipples are sucked. A streak of motherhood is present in every woman of every age. These sorts of women would never be ‘ready’ unless their male partner suck their nipples for five to ten minutes. The groom would know his bride’s this proclivity in the foreplay itself. Do it as she wants it. If a groom could raise his bride to the peak on the first night, it is treated as an extraordinary achievement foreboding a perfect married life, sexually.
Much has been written on the various positions that may be adopted when copulating, so that the count has reached, in some cases, nearly 100 different ways, while other authorities have even topped that century mark. Although many of the positions described therein are most absurd. Yet it is beyond our purview at the moment. In the first-night-copulation, the most natural position is frontal intercourse, which is also the most convenient. What the performers would like is the most comfortable position, i.e., while performing the act what you want to have in a comfortable position to facilitate the smooth and full entry of the penis in the vagina without performing any body twisting acrobatic feats. After all, your purpose is to ‘have’ the woman in such a way as to give her or yourself a really good time. As a consequence, any position that achieves this dual objective is a good, satisfactory, and worthwhile posture and may be adopted as such. Frontal intercourse has other advantages also. With your mouth titillating or kneading the nipples of the breasts, hands kneading the buttocks, and penis sunk deep inside the vagina propelled forcefully by the jerks exerted by the pushing, your waist up and down—you cover her entire erotic zone by your body parts to fan your bride’s sexual fire to the full. Incidentally, it is never advisable to always follow the same position in coitus and do it the same way practically every time for, like in everything else, sameness brings monotony and hence staleness.
It is not as much material as what posture the couple should adopt. Important is you both reach the climax together. A man should be able to practice retention till his bride has attained her orgasm. And this is a universal problem for males. Especially on the first night, when your experience is maiden, and the sexual charge is extreme, the grooms tend to come rather early. To attain this retention, hundreds of methods have been advised and literally hundreds of balms, ointments, applications, and medicines are in use. But the crux of the problem is: no external agent can bring or maintain the desired retention. You the groom would have to exercise restraint, physically or mentally to achieve this. There are some physical methods involving flexing of some muscles which have been found effective. One old and time-tested secret is to tighten your anus muscles when you feel you are nearing the explosion. The more you tighten these muscles the more you would be able to check the discharge of the semen. But this practice requires constant endeavor and strong mental discipline. It is because, when you approach your climax, the natural desire is to penetrate as much deep as possible your penis into the vagina. And for thrusting your penis down the vagina you arch your back to have the full go—meaning the lower muscles relaxed. At that very moment, if you tighten your anus muscles you can achieve your aim but you would have to act contrary to your body’s demand. The ancients say that when your anus is tightened you are tightened; you loosen it and you will be discharged soon.
In spite of your best efforts, if you reach your climax earlier than your bride, remain in the same position and never take out your penis immediately from the vagina. The reason is physiological. The male sexual charge could be compared to the flight of a mortar shell. After attaining its peak it falls down like a stone, while a woman’s can be likened to a parabolic path— gradually rising, attaining its peak, and falling gradually down. So even if you both attain your peak simultaneously, she would clamor you’re not loosening your hold of her for a little more time. In case you discharge early, it is all the more necessary to maintain the posture. Many couples prefer to sleep in the same posture. The groom should continue patting her body, kneading her breasts and nipples, and clutching her buttocks till she attains her peak. Then relax and retire. Some couples prefer to repeat the performance with their youthful exuberance. Well, you may if you want, but it is advisable to relax for a few hours. After successfully completing the coitus the young couple drinks milk or other instant energy-giving potions. It is customary in India to keep a glass full of creamy nut-rich milk in the first-night chamber. There is no doubt that this is celebrated.
There are innumerable books available on the subject. But no amount of learning through books can guide you to quench your desires. You have to learn it from your own experience. One can take you to the ‘first night chamber’ but twenty cannot make you act in the desired style. Learn and enjoy the supernal bliss of conjugal physical union, all by your own efforts.