The Funniest Bits of the Internet
CHILD: Is papa afraid of wild animals?
Mother : No child, he is a famous hunter. Why
should he be afraid of wild beasts?
Child : Is he afraid of thief?
A man told his friend : do you know the tongue
of Mrs. Sha has een paralysed?
No, but I will send my wife to see her, said
the from.
“But why, is she related to Mrs. Sharma?
Asked to man.
“No, not related, replied the friend, but I think
it might be a contagrious disease.”
MASTER: I have to catch the 4 : 30 train in the
early morning tomorrow. So, you wake up at 4
o’clock in the morning.
Servant : O.K. Sir, but I don’t know how to tell
time. You please let me know when it is 4 and I
shall wake you up.
Guest: What’s your name child?
Child : Jolly.
Guest : It’s your family name. Tell me your
school name.
Child : Model Public School.
SON: Papa I studied last night till past
midnight.
Father : Don’t tell a lie, last night there was a
power failure after ten in the colony.
Son : Might be, but I was so busy with my
equations that I did not notice it at all.
A devotee went to the temple but in hurry, he
forgot to lock his cycle standing in front of
the shine. Hurriedly he retraced his steps and
found the cycle there safe.
The time he locked the cycle but
unfortunately dropped the key.
Then he bought some sweet offerings and
went inside the temple.
On returning he found the cycle stolen.
BERNARD Shaw once showing a bust of himself
to a friend said :
“It’s a funny thing about the bust. As time goes
on it seems to get younger and younger.”
MUMMY, I’ve swallowed a five paise coin.’’
“Thank God, it was not a 25 paise or 50 paise
coin.”
“WELCOME, welcome how did you come?”
“By bus.”
There are three things not worth running after.
“A bus a woman and a new economic
panacea.”
“Why?”
“Because there would always be another one
along shortly.”
A mother beat his naughty child. It went
weeping and hide itself under a table.
It’s father came looking for his shoes under
table. The child promptly said—
“Papa, it is a very good place to hide. Has
mummy thrashed you also?”
AN invitation to a dance ended with the words
Dress optional.
A neighbour asked a musician “Can you lend
me you sitar and tabla for this night?
Why not, perhaps being inspired by my music
you also wish to practive singing.’’ said the
misucian.
“No I want to sleep tonight undistrubted, said
the neighbour.
A younger lover sent his beloved and would
be wife 15 fresh roses, on her 16 roses, but then
decided that 15 are enough, you yourself being
the sixteenth and far more pretty than the rest.’’
A gentleman from the ity was on a walking
tour in a country side.
He asked a cowherd how far it was to the
next vilage.
“Only half a mile, Sir, said he.
But in fact it took him nearly three hours and
by the time he reached the village he was almost
exhausted.
On his was back the day after next he
happened to meet the same cowherd who had
misinformed him and demanded an explanation.
“Why now, replied the cowherd, I did not mean
any harm at all.”
It was just that I wanted to give your honour a
pleasant answer.
“ALL right, I’ll send some one to fix it up for
you. Where is the car? said the father.
“Well, as a matter of act, said the son with
tears in his eyes, It’s in the Jamuna.
KARL Max, the author of famous, Das Kapital,
the Bible or modern Communism, was survived
by his wife who, when asked if her marriage had
been a happy one had replied—
“Yes,” said she with a sign, We were happyly
enough, but I wish dear Karl could have spent
some time acquiring capital instead of merely
writting about it.
A man came and knocked at thegae of
heaven and them a voice for inside enquired,
Are married?
Yes, I am, said the man.
“O>K. then you can enter said the voice. Again
another man came and knocked at the door.
Again the voice asked, Are youmarried?
Yes, I was married twice, said the new comer.
“The fools have no place here, you can go
away, said the voice.
A boy in his late teens telephoned his father,
busy in his factory —
“Papa, there’s something wrong with the ear.”
What? Enqired the father.
Well, replied the son subdued, for one thing
there if water in the carburettor.’’