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THE father: “Tell me, would you still love my
daughter, even she were poor?”
Suitor : “Of course.”
The father : “Then you’re out. We want no
fools in our family.”
THREE laborers set out in search of jobs to a
city. On the way the night fell and there was
a moon high in the sky.
Seeing the moon one of them said—
“Oh, the moon was over our village yesterday.
She has also come with us.” Then the second
laborer remarked, “Yes dears. She has been
journeying with us. In the village, it would have
been complete darkness. When we return to the
village people will scold us for leaving them in
darkness by taking the moon with us. Let us go
back”, said the thrid, “and leave the moon in the
village.”
And all three journeyed back to their village
in the night.
IN a shop window—
“For sale, mahogany wardrobe with seven
large drawers five shelves and ample hanging
space for man.”
AN industrialist removed his two sons from a
mission school. He gave this reason—The
school teaches them to be honest and I want
them to go into business and industry.
FACTORY owner-We want a watchman, who is
healthy, smart, clever, watchful and may even
threaten a person if need be. Do youhave all
these qualities?
Candidate, Sir, I don’t possess add these but
my wife does. I shall bring her.
MAX : My wife should have been a lawyer.
Sam : Why’s that?
Max : Every time we have an argument and
she feels she is go losing, she takes it to a higher
court-my mother-in-law.
THERE was a famous author. He was always
busy with his books and writting. His wife wished
that she were a book so that she were a book
so that she could be always with her husband.
The author then wished that his wife was a
calander instead, which he could change every
month.
A poet’s meet was held late in the night. The
last poet came on the stage and began to read
his latest poem—
“Keep awake, The dawn is near.”
A young man from the audience got up and
requested the poet to repeat the line over and
over against till it was really dawn.
“Do you like the line so much?” asked the
poet.
“No sir,”’ replied the man, “the fact is that the
watchman of the colony is on leave.”
MAGISTRATE: You have committed more than
seven thefts this week.
Thief : Yes, Sir, you are right. I am an
industrious person and never shirk labour.
CHITRA : Mummy, Mummy, Sonu has borken
my new toy.
Mother : How he did it?
Chitra : I had struck him on his head with it.
CHURCHILL, when asked why he always
seemed to miss trains and aeroplanes, said—
“I am a sporting man. I always give them a
fair chance of getting away.”
HUSBAND : Now you cannot call me forgetful.
Wife : Why?
Husband : Today neither I forgot to post the
letter nor to bring my umbrella home.
Wife : But today you did not take umbrella
with you.
GUEST : When were you born Soni?
Soni : On Monday the 19th January, and when
were you born?
Guest : On Sunday the 1st March.
Soni : You can’t be fool me. Sunday is a
holiday.
JUDGE : How did you dare steal this diamond
necklace from this jeweller’s shop?
Thief : It way written there, “Don’t miss this
golden opportunity.”
MOTHER : No, not at all.
Child : Then, is he afraid of Police?
Mother : No, certainly not.
Child : I means he is afraid, of nothing expert
you.
TWO friends were chatting—
First : My wife is an incarnation of anger. I’m
helpless before her.
Second : My wife was also of that type but
she is not now.
First (With wonder) : How’s that?
Second : One day when she was shouting. I
remarked. Old age and anger are
complementary. Since that day she has been
quite modest.
THE doctor asked a talkative lady patient to
open her mouth wide and then without looking
at her tongue gave the inscription.
Patient : You didn’t look at my tongue.
Doctor : In fact, there was no need to inspect
the tongue in your case. I wanted to keep you
quiet so that I could prescribe the medicine in
peace.
RELEASING a convict the jailor said, “I hope in
future you will not do any such thing as may
bring you here again.”
“I shall live up to your expectation, Sir, In future
while breaking safe I shall not forget to wear the
gloves,” said he convict.