“The Funniest SMS Jokes You Need in Your Life”
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Please send a picture of the tractor.
The old coroner had put in forty long years
under Army routine, and now he was being
retired, He took his orderly with him as a servant,
and gave him strict instructions: Now, George,
each morning at five O’clock sharp, you wake
me up and say, Time for the parade, Sir and
then I’ll say, Damn the parade and turn over
and go back to sleep.
I don’t see why you haggled so with the tailor
about the price-you’ll never pay his bill, anyhow,
said Amrit to Andre.
Yes, but you see, I’m conscientious; I don’t
want the poor fellow to lose more than is
necessary.
What would you most like to have along with
you to read if you were shipwrecked on a desert
island? The student was asked in her literature
class.
My first choice smiled the girl, would be an
intricately tattooed sailor.
A sergeant in charge of the new recruits
orders: Man, when you blow the whistle, I want you
to shoot at will.
At that moment, one terrified young man
ran across the grounds out of sight.
Who was that? Where’s he going? Bellowed
the sergeant.
That was well, replied one of the recruits.
A man walked into the barber’s and asked
for a shave, The barber’s young assistant spoke
up: My I try shaving him?
It’ll be good practice.
All right, go ahead, replied his boss doubtfully.
But be careful. Don’t yourself.
A man insists he can make it rain when he
wants it to. Why do I want it to rain? I just washed my
car.
A recent newspaper and for a school of
accountancy was headed: Short Course in
Accounting for women.
The next day a note reached the school
director saying, There is no accounting for
woman.