The Funniest Tweets
“Are you going to let Sunny kiss you
tonight?”
“I don’t know. There are so many germs in
the average kiss.”
“Don’t worry, Sunny’s kisses are way
below average.”
Rani: “Do you ever let a man kiss you while
he’s driving.”
Mamta: “Not in your life. If a man can
drive a car safely while he’s kissing me then he’s
not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
“If I try to kiss you, will you call for help?”
“I don’t know. Will you need help?”
Sunny: “Darling, I feel I ought to tell you
everything. I once embezzied 2000/=”
Meena: “That’s all right. Got any left?”
Sunny: “May I have the next dance?”
Donna: “Sorry, but I’m engaged.”
Sunny: “Well, I don’t want to marry you. I
just want to dance.”
Small Boy, to local tailor: “Please, sir father
says can you give him one of your books of
trouser patterns?”
Tailor: “Certainly, my boy. What sort of
the material does your father want?”
Small boy: “Oh, I don’t think he minds
what sort of pattern, so long as it’s strong enough
to hold our creeper up.”
Meena to Sunny: “What do you say we go
out tonight and have a good time?”
Sunny: “Good idea. And if you get home
first, turn on the porch light.”
The shorties: A farmer making his first trip
to a large city went to a hotel and, before retiring,
asked the dark when meals were served.
“We have breakfast from seven to eleven,
dinner from twelve to three, and supper from four to
eight” said the clerk.
“Gosh,” said the disappointed farmer, “What
time will I able to see the town, then?”
The two friends were admiring the lady in
red but with certain reservations. “She’s a
widow.”
Said one, “And I’d hate to be her second
husband.”
“I’d rather be that, said, his friend, “Then
her first.”