“The Funniest Tweets and Posts of the Week”
Customer: “Get me mutton pulao, one
plate egg curry, a few sandwiches, a little butter,
some salad and one plate of chicken.”
Hotel Manager: “Be got, Sir, if we had
all these things, we’d have them ourselves!”
Of late, two French tourists arrived in India
and went to see Kashmir. They got a room in a
beautiful hotel. To their surprise, they were
attacked by mosquitoes, an insect new to them.
They turned off the light and crawled under
their bedsheets.
One of them just peeped to see the insects
had gone, “It’s no use” he groaned, “Came out,
they’ve come with lanterns looking for us.”
“I wish to marry your daughter, Sir,” said
the young man baldly.
“Er, do you drink, young man?” asked the
father in a stern voice.
“Many thanks, but let’s settle this other
things first.”
“My boy,” the father told his son, “When I
was of your age, I had never kissed a girl.
Remember that. Now, will you be able to say
the same thing to your son?”
“Sure,” said the boy, but not with such
straight face.”
The aged Anup was out walking in the
summer Sun and recognized by two young ladies
passing by. They smiled sweetly to him, but as
they passed, one of them gasped, “Ghosh, but
he looks old and wrinkled!”
The great twist turned and said amiably,
“Yes, but he wears well, doesn’t he?”
A press report was having an interview
with the popular Indian actress Madhuri Dixit.
He asked a number of questions and finally come
to this one: “Are you female?”
Madhuri Dixit gave a slightly longer answer
: “I was, last time I looked at my face in the mirror.”
“I’m a young actress driving to Bombay for
a screen test, what shall I take long?”
“Better take a space reputation?”
Teacher: “Who was your mother before she
was married?”
Student: “I didn’t have a mother before she
was married.”