“The Good Stuff”
The young bride was having her new house
decorated and while changing into something
suitable for her afternoon bridge club, she noticed
what appeared to be her husband’s handprint
on the wall in the bedroom that had been freshly
painted the day before. She slipped into a filmy
but adequate covering and going to the head of
the stairs called down to the painter, who was
now working in the living room.
“Pardon me,” but would you like to come
up here and see where my husband put his hand
last night?” she said.
“I’d love to, lady,” replied the painter, but
I’ve got to get done with this painting first.”
There was a young lady of trace.
Whose corset grew too tight to lace.
Her mother said, “Nelly,”
“There’s more in your belly.
Then ever want in through your face!”
History credits Adam and Eve with being
the first bookkeepers because they invented the
loose leaf system.
A man about bistros we know assures us
he has no trouble leaping out of bed as soon
as the first ray of sunshine enters his window.
Of course, he adds, his window faces west.
He’d shown her his etchings and just about
everything else of interest in his apartment and,
as Sunny poured the last of the martinis into their
glasses, he realized that the moment of truth with
Louise had arrived. He decided on the direct verbal
attack.
“Tell me,” he said smoothly, fingering a
lock of her hair, “do you object to making love?”
“She turned her lovely eyes up to his. That’s
something I’ve never done,” she said.
“Never made love?” cried Sunny, appalled
at the waste of magnificent raw material.
“No, silly,” she said in soft rebuke. “Never
objected.”
A none-too-likeable, middle-aged office gal
of our acquaintance has announced that she much
prefers the business world to marriage. “In my
younger days,” she boasts. I could have married
any man I pleased.”
“Obviously,” observes a waggish friend of
cries, “She never pleased anyone.”
Two young starters were discussing the
remarriage of a well-known Hollywood couple :
“I guess,” said the one to the other; it was first
another one of them is those divorces that didn’t
pan out.”