The Jokes That Went Viral
THE quack was selling an elixir which he
declared would make men live to a great age.
“Look at me he shouted. “Hale and hearty,
I’m over 300 years old.”
“Is he really as old as that?” asked a listener
of the youthful assistant.
“I can’t say.” replied the assistant, I’ve only
worked for him for 100 years.”
A customer wanted a chicken at a good price.
The shop keeper finally suggested to him to by
a particular chicken which was really good and
cheap too.
The customer after examining the fowl noted
that there was one leg missing. When customer
objected to its purchase, the shop keeper
retorted, “Do you want to eat it or to dance with
it?”
THE young bride asked her doctor for a simple
and effective method of birthcontrol.
“Orange juice.” he replied.
“Do you take it before or after?” asked the
bride.
“Neither instead.”
USED car salesman : “This is the opportunity
of a lifetime.”
AN Irishman hurried into the pub and said to
the bartender : “A pint before the row starts.”
He drank that up.
“Another pint before the row starts.”
He had drunk tht half-way when the bartender
asked: “What row?”
“I have no money,” said the Irishman.
THE housewife told the salesman she wasn’t
interested in vacuum cleaner, “but see my
neighbour next door I borrow theirs and it is in
terrible condition.”
“I’LL want a pair of stockings.”
“For your wife, or shall I show you something
better?”
“A married man makes a very good
salesman.”
“How?”
“Because he is used to taking orders.”
CUSTOMER : “Are you sure this cloth will not
shrink?”
Salesman : “No, may be three metres in a
hundred.”
So my wife bought a dress piece and got it
stitched. On the first wash the dress material
shrank to almost one fourth. She rushed to the
shop and questioned the particular salesman,’’
you said that only three meters in a hundred will
shrink. Now look at this dress material. It has
shrunk one fourth.’’
Salesman : “Madam, What dcan I do, if you
are unlucky enough to buy those three metres?”
SAM and Nam went to a coffee shop and
ordered coffee. Survice was prompt and they
were served with two cups of coffee. Nam
started drinking while the other waited. Sam
advised his friend not to drink but to allow it to
cool down. Nam said, “It will get cold if you do
not drink it right away.”
“That is exactly what I want. You know cold
coffee costs double as much.”
IN a Delhi candy store : “Sales clerk wanted,
“Diabetic preferred.”
DINER : “I want two eggs fried very hard, two
pieces of burntblack toast and a cup of lukewarm
coffee.
Watress : “Are you sure that’s what you
want?”
Dinary : “Exactly.”
The waitress explained the order to the chief
and brought the man just what had ordered.
Waitress : “Anything else sir?”
Diner : “Yes, I want you to sit down and nag
me, as I am homesick.”
SAID the worried patient to the psychiatrist :
“I’m in love with my horse.”
“But that’s nothing.” replied the psychiatrist.”
A lot of people love animals. My wife and I have
a dog that we love very much.”
“Ah, but doctor, it’s a physical attraction that I
feel toward my horse.”
“Ummm!” said the psychiatrist. “What kind of
horse is it? Male or female?”
“Female of course.” the gent shot back angrily.
“DO you have labour problem?”
The wife interrupted : “No, it is my problem
not his.”