“The Ultimate Collection of Internet Humor”
Teacher: “Name two pronouns?”
Sunny: “Who? Me?”
Judge: “Have you murdered him, just for ten
rupees?”
Accused: “You see your honor, ten rupees
here and ten rupees there makes twenty rupees
with twenty persons.”
Sunny: “I am thinking of asking some girl
to marry me. What do you think of the idea?”
Sneh: “It’s a great idea if you ask me.”
Professor: “What is the most outstanding
product that chemistry has given to the world?”
Student: “Blondes.”
Teacher: “Now, Children, if I saw a man
beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue
would I be showing?”
Student: “Brotherly love.”
The friend enquired about a new actor: “Is your
first picture a comedy or a tragedy?”
Actor: “If loads of tickets are sold, it’s a
comedy. Otherwise, it’s a tragedy.”
In the movie theatre, a newly married couple
was talking so loudly that the whole audience
was getting disturbed. At last a man from the
behind row spoke out, “Beg your pardon, but I
can’t hear a word!”
“So that So?” snapped the husband, “Is it
your business to hear what I tell my wife?”
“Who was that lady I saw you with?”
“That was no lady, that way my brother.
He only walks that way.”
Young lady: “I want a small revolver for
my husband,”
Shopkeeper: “Yes, madam. Did your
husband give any indication of the makes him
prefers?”
Young lady: “He, didn’t. He doesn’t know
that I’m going to shoot him.”
The tailor was taking measurements of the
young lady for stitching suits.
Young lady: “I presume there is no change
in my measurements as compared to last year’s?”
Tailor: “Just a minor change—your breast
has reduced by three inches, the head has gone up
by three inches, and arms have expanded by three
inches and the leg’s height has gone down by six
inches.”
Meena: “What do you mean by getting in
at this hour?”
Sunny: “It’s all right, my love. I just hurried
home because I thought you might be lonesome,
but I see your twin sisters are staying with you.”
“Are you the widow Mamta?” A small girl
asked. “I’m Mrs. Mamta,” she replied, “but I’m
not a widow.”
“Oh, no?” replied the little girl, “Wait till
you see what they’re carrying upstairs.”
Sumit: “But you have no reason for leaving
me.”
Mamta: “And I’ll have no reason if I stay.”
At last, the typist took the courage of asking his
managers for marrying his daughter :
“Have you seen my wife?” the father asked.
“Yes, but I prefer your daughter.” Come the
reply.