“The Ultimate SMS Jokes Collection for Jokesters”
She suddenly had the urge to live in the past.
You used to kiss me. So he leaned over and
kissed her. You used to hold my hand, So he
reached out and held her hand. You used to
bite me on the back of the neck. He got up and
walked out of the room.
Where are you going?
To get my teeth.
And there’s the spinster who confessed she’d
marry the guy down the street if he were Rick, or
taller, or better—looking, or if he’d ask her.
Clinton is shaking hands with voters. Pleased
to meet you, says one old man, I’veard a lot
about you, Clinton laughs, But you can’t prove
any of it.
The wonderful part of a vacation is that it
makes you feel good enough to go back to work,
and so poor you have to.
One thing the average man can not
understand about women is how women
understand so much about men.
Have you got those cards that say? To my one
and only love?
Yes, Miss?
Then I will take a dozen.
The distraught wife was appearing on a legal
advice TV show. I’ve been a good wife to my
husband for thirty years; he told me
to get out of the house last night. Now I want to know
that after thirty years, am I entitled to at least
two weeks’ notice?
Notice to be placed in all gardens in July :
Anyone is welcome to come and borrow our
lawn mower. As long as he doesn’t take it out of
our garden.
How old are these bones in this museum?
Asked the tourist. Exactly one hundred million
and three years old, was the Indian’s reply.
How can you be so definite? Inquired the
tourist.
Oh, a geologist told me they were one hundred
million years old, replied the Indian, and that
we exactly three years ago.