The Jokes That Went Viral
A sportsman went to a hunting lodge and
bagged a record number of birds, aided by a
dog named Salesman. Next year he returned
and asked for Salesman again. “The hound ain’t
no dum good now,” the handler said.
“What happened!” cried the sportsman. “Was
he injured?”
“No. Some fool came down here and called
him ‘Sales Manager’ all week instead of
Salesman. Now all he does is sit on his tail and
bark”.
“EXCUSE me for being nervous”, the sheriff
apologized as he slipped the noose over the
condemned man’s head.” This is my first
hanging.”
“Mine too!” the condemned man replied.
JOHN: My girlfriend has a huge lower lip, but
I don’t mind.
Sam : You don’t?
John : No, her upper lip covers it.
THE only people who listen to both sides of an
argument are the neighbors.
WIFE: When we were younger, you used to
nibble on my ear.
Husband : Excuse me. I’ll be right back.
Wife : Where are you going?
Husband : I’m going to get my teeth.
myself to death.
Jony : What’s being nearsighted got to do with
working yourself to death?
Harry : I couldn’t tell whether the boss was
watching me or not, so I had to work all the time.
THIRTEEN ministers were on a flight to New
York.
When they came into a large storm, they told
the stewardess to tell the pilot the everything
would be okay because 13 ministers were on
board.
Later the stewardess returned from the
cockpit.
“What did the pilot say?” one minister asked.
“He said the was glad to have 13 ministers
abroad but he would rather have four good
engines.”
HARRY : I’m so nearsighted I nearly worked A
man pleaded with the psychiatrist,’ “You’ve got
to help me. It’s my son.”
“What’s the matter?”
“He’s always eating mud pieces. I get up in
the morning and there he is in the backyard eating
mud pieces. I come home at lunch and he is
eating mud pieces. I come home at dinner and
there he is in the backyard eating mud pieces.”
The psychiatrist reassured him, “Give the kid
a chance. It’ll pass.”
“Well, I don’t like it, and neither does his wife.”
One asked, “What is the most sensitive
nerve in the human body?”
The preacher answered, “The one that leads
to the pocketbook”.
LATE staying guest: Well, good night, I hope
I have not kept you up too late.
Yawning host: Not at all. We would have been
getting up soon, anyway.
“Don’t bother showing me to the door”.
“It’s no bother….it’s a pleasure!”
The best way to cure your wife of a case of
nerves is to tell her it’s caused by advancing
age.
“TO tell the truth, Doctor”, said a hardworking
housewife, “I’ve always wanted to have a
nervous breakdown. But every time I was about
to get around to it, it was time to fix somebody a
mean.”